my name is ahmad fikri surya dilaga, in the usual call Aldi.
I aged 12 years. I live in the dalegan panceng gresik district. My telephone number is 085731870558.
I schools in smp n 1 sidayu.
I have home simple,but I happy.
I live at home with my mother and sister, my sister name is Alda, and the name of my mother is sumarlik.
my father work in malaisya as migrant workers, which is my passion from my father is a hard worker and good heart.
I like the teacher he is mr. Sulis tijanto. dan moral guardian class she is mrs. nur khasanah
and friends that I like is eric, thomas, panji, faiz, and Vian.
the first story on myself.
coll
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Assalamu'alaikum....!!!
BalasHapusYour writing is good!!! But in paragraph 1, you write "I aged 12 years", actually "I'm 12 years old". And you write "I schools in smp n 1 sidayu", actually " my school is in SMP N 1 Sidayu".
And in paragraph 2, you write "I have home simple, but I happy", actually "I have a simple home,but I'm happy".And you write "my sister name is Alda...",Actually "my sister's name is Alda..."
Wassalamu'alaikum....!!!
Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb.
BalasHapusYour blog and your writing is good. But, in paragraph 1, you write "I aged 12 years" actually you write "I am 12 years old". And in last paragraph, you write "and friends that I like is eric, thomas, panji, faiz, and Vian." better you write "and my best friends is Eric, Thomas, Panji, Faiz, and Vian".
Thank you.
Wassalamualaikum Wr. Wb.
askum>>>
BalasHapusAl, your writing is good, but your writing not complete and each paragraph not space.
Wass>>>>